There’s nothing connecting the “weird” opening [of the Thanksgiving piece] to the rest of it.
The actual “narrative” part with the natives is unbelievably half-assed. Make him a real character, and give some more details of their travels.
The giving of thanks could be better integrated.
All the descriptions of nature, etc need to be expanded or integrated. What’s the point, exactly?
This girl next to me is unhappy that she will never be able to compete as a bodybuilder.