A bunch of girls at CG speaking English loudly. To some extent, things have taken a turn for the better. Next step…girlfriend?!
For the story…
Need to make the timeline more clear. More of a spring vibe for the present-day timeline; more of the glory of weather.
How does the V– anecdote relate to anything else in the story? How do any of the parts relate to each other? The idea is…fixating on the unobtainable, in spite of what’s in front of you. I am incapable of precisely identifying what a theme is, and I don’t actually think that’s the writer’s job, anyway. When I say, “the theme is [whatever],” what I am saying is “the emotional well from which this language springs has [whatever] affective–conceptual quality in the foreground of my mind.” The artist does not identify their themes, the critic does. The artist can only say what their affective state is at the moment of conjuration.
The last thing to do is add in the element of “praying” to the computer; entering J–’s name into the phone 3 times. It can end there. Make it happy. Or, tell the truth and don’t mislead by pretending change will be enduring.